


The Anthology of KaiSoo One-shots

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Flirting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, One Shot, fluff in general tbh, this cant end well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3998002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you Kaisoo af you know</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jellysoo

It wasn't Baekhyun who  _wanted_  to be glared to the death at, nobody really does, he just really wanted to help his friends.  
        And it wasn't that D.O.  _didn't_  like Baekhyun, Baekhyun is very likable, it's just when someone messes around with Kai, D.O. can't bring himself to disregard it.  
        Also, it's not that Kai  _asked_  to be pinned down, he preferred not to be, he was just told by a certain beagle that it would gain D.O.'s attention.  
  
"Hyung, you sure this is gonna work?" Kai squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, watching uneasily as Baekhyun smiled smugly down at him.  
        "You bet your next batch of fried chicken, Dancing Queen," Baekhyun said with much confidence. "Trust me, I've done this before." Someone snickered knowingly. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai glimpsed two towering figures huddled by a doorway, the shorter one was holding his cellphone at the ready. "Oh my god." Baekhyun sounded exasperated. "You two, quiet down. If you ruin this, I swear..." His threat hung, Chanyeol and Sehun clung silently to it.  
        Down the hall, Chen whistled.  
        "Oh, oh, here comes Squishy." Baekhyun scrambled to the edge of the couch. "Get out or stay hidden, you two."  
        "Yessir." Sehun's lisp was barely a whisper.  
        "Alright." Baek licked his lips. "Hyah!" And jumped Kai. Kai, who knew what was coming, started at the sudden outburst and shrieked. A loud, badly-suppressed snort escaped the maknae. And then Baekhyun was on top of Kai, smothering his face with careless caresses and kisses that never quite reached his cheeks. Kai did his best not to thrash, because Baekhyun was  _suffocating_  him and it was a lot harder than he thought and he found he wasn't actually prepared for this—I mean yes, he had let his imagination fly sky-high before, but that was just with D.O.  
        "Ahem." The cough was raspy and dripped with more venom than a bucketful of black mambas.  
        Baekhyun sat up, panting a bit, even a little red in the face.  
        D.O. stood at the near end of the hallway, posture stiff, lips thin. His usual passive expression was gone, replaced with a poorly-hidden look of smoldering rage. Unease flashed for a millisecond in his eyes. "What are you doing?" He tried his best for something pleasant, but his voice was so deathly calm that it sent a cold jolt traveling down Kai's spine.  
        Baekhyun's faint smile wavered as he slid off Kai's torso. In a pitch an octave higher than usual, he murmured, "See you 'round," and hastily gave D.O. a two-fingered salute, scampering off with Chanyeol in tow. Sehun stayed expertly out of sight and lingered valiantly to get anything else that might happen on tape.  
        As soon as Baekhyun was gone, D.O.'s expression softened, but he remained stiff as a log. Kai sat up, running a shaky hand through his hair. He couldn't look D.O. straight in face, much less in the eyes, but he could still feel D.O.'s gaze fixated on him, so intense and focused as to sear a hole right through him.  
        D.O. crossed his arms and leaned heavily against the wall. He jutted his chin out at Kai. "You didn't seem to like that," he ventured hopefully.  
        Kai smacked his lips like he had something nasty in his mouth. "I think I almost died." Kai got to his feet and walked to join D.O. by his wall. "Don't be mad, Soo." He gave D.O.'s cheek a small poke and noticed his lower lip quivering. "You know I'd never..." Kai faltered. How was he supposed to explain it was all to get D.O.'s attention without embarrassing himself?  
        "I'm not mad."  
        "You're such a bad liar."  
        D.O. sighed. "I know you did it to make me notice you. I'm not dumb."  
        "But you're still mad.  
        D.O. glared daggers. "Next time, I'll decapitate both of you."  
        "Soo, you can barely  _reach_  my head."  
        D.O. quickly proved Kai wrong by stealing a quick peck with perfect ease.  
        Kai smiled dumbly. "Just one?"  
        "Punishment for what just happened." D.O. laughed softly when Kai pouted. "Just kidding, people exchange 80 million microbes when they kiss, I don't want your cooties is all."  
        Sehun was glad he stayed behind, because the look of astonishment upon Kai's face was absolutely priceless. "Ugh, Soo! Get out of town!"


	2. Drunksoo

In the haze and the darkness, the city lights were but splotches of wavering yellow. Blots of green and red and blue here and there, turning on and off and on again, just like the little blinking dots twinkling in the sky.  
        But there was one light, the brightest and the biggest, that sat unmoving, never winking, never ceasing, amidst the stars.  
        Under that big, bright light, a little man stood. His eyes, though seemingly clouded, shone as fiercely as any star in the galaxy. In his hand was his phone, its screen flickering to life, then fell dead, then flickered up once more, and continued incessantly. He frowned at it, passing his fingers over and over it again until finally, the little horizontal bars with tiny green icons and jumbled words blacked out, replaced with a brilliant green background, a luminous chat bubble in the center. Then it too faded away to a four-digit lock screen, and the man's fingers automatically tapped at the numbers 0112. There was a soft click, and the screen burst into lines and lines of white bubbles and blurred characters. What with all the question marks and exclamation points, they looked quite urgent.  
        Mind clouded and thoughts blending, he picked up only a few of the words on his glittery screen. Words like "Kyungsoo" and "Squishy" and "Soo"; others like "drunk" and "missing" and "dorms"; and finally like "worried" and "scared" and "anxious".  
        The little brunette giggled to himself and, rather painstakingly, typed "I'm OK" and sent it. Then he slipped the phone, still bright, into his pocket and hummed softly a tune that had been stuck in the back of his head. He walked on.  
        In his coat pocket, his phone pinged endlessly and violently.  
  
 _21:46_  
         _Jongin: HES GONE SOOS GONE WHAT DO I DO???  
        Chanyeol: kai calm down squishy'll be fine  
        Baekhyun: yeah kai calm down  
        Jongin: HE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!! NOW WHAT ILOSTHIM!  
        Minseok: Jongin, please.  
        Jongin: PLS MY ASS XIUMIN  
        Jongin: HYUNG  
        Minseok: Little shit  
        Sehun: pffft  
        Sehun: no srsly kai calm down  
        Jongin: IM TRYING!!!! I CANT IM SCARED  
        Zitao: ...  
        Jongin: he's not in the dorms what NOW WHAT NOW  
        Yixing: Ah, Jongin, maybe I can be of help? (*´∀`*)  
        Jongin: THANKS BUT NO THANKS IM SORRY HYUNG  
        Junmyeon: WHAT DO YOU _MEAN _ANOTHER KID IS MISSING??!!_  
         _Baekhyun: shit  
        Chanyeol: here we go_  
        _Yixing: Guys, is Kyungsoo really gone? (　ﾟдﾟ)  
        Yixing: You're worrying me ヽ(*´Д｀*)ﾉ  
        Minseok: Great, now you've all made Lay sad._  
 _Kyungsoo: I'm ok_  
        _Jongin: oh lordoh GOD SOO WHERE ARE YOU  
        Junmyeon: Kyungsoo whERE ARE YOU_  
 _21:48_  
  
"Shit, shit, shit, shitshitshit..." Kai ran his fingers on and on and on through his shock of rhubarb hair. He was perspiring, and it was cold.  
        Next to him on the couch, Chen was looking at him funny while scrolling through their group chat. "Don't worry. Squishy'll be fine, he's not one to get himself into trouble."  
        "No, but—" Kai stood up abruptly and paced the floor, his hand never left his hair. "He was  _drunk_."  
        "He had, like, two shots." Chen continued to scroll. "Man, is Suho losin' it."  
        "I don't blame him." Kai's voice quavered. "But Soo's alcohol tolerance is so low it's sad. Gods, where could he be?"  
        "How  _did_  we even lose him?" Chen asked, looking up from his phone.  
        "We drank. I went to the bathroom. You went to fetch your phone, and...and—" Kai waved his hands helplessly.  
         _Click_.  
        Kai spun, and Chen's head swiveled towards the unlocking front door.  
        Xiumin stepped in, shaking half-melted snow from his hair so that his hair bounced about, and flicked little white flecks off his shoulders. He exhaled sharply. "Well, you two did a real bang-up job." He then glared pointedly at Kai. "Remember your honorifics next time."  
        Kai hung his head. "Sorry."  
        Xiumin kicked his shoes off and collapsed on the couch across Chen's lap. "Now what are you gonna do? Shouldn't you be out looking for him already?"  
        "Um..." Kai lifted a hand. "But where?"  
        "Well, I don't know!" Xiumin exclaimed. "Check the vicinity. He couldn't've gone far."  
        There was another click of the door opening. This time, Chanyeol and Baekhyun entered, looking a cross between grim and amused.  
        "How's the man-hunt going?" Baekhyun asked.  
        "I dunno, you tell me," said Kai, rather scathingly.  
        "Just asking," Baekhyun murmured.  
        Chen was  _still_  scrolling through his phone, which was making quiet popping sounds each time a new message appeared. "Hey, guys, check it. Check the group chat. Squishy's typing something."  
        Kai's phone was in his hand in a flash, awaiting any new message.  
  
 _21:53_  
 _Junmyeon: So none of you have seen Kyungsoo?_  
         _Yixing: No, sorry, Suho (´Ａ｀。)_  
         _Junmyeon: Don't apologize lay  
        Junmyeon: not your fault_  
         _Junmyeon: why are you all so quiet?  
        Jongdae: most of us are at the dorms right now_  
         _Zitao: guys look, ksoo's back online  
        Sehun: why does it take him so long to type  
        Jongdae: he's drunk you dumbass_  
         _Kyungsoo: mooon is p rettuy  
        Sehun: wat  
21:54_  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Baekhyun squinted at his phone. "Moon is what now?"  
        "Pretty," Kai responded immediately. "Moon is pretty. He's somewhere outdoors. Oh jeez, he's gonna freeze to death! His coat is still here!" Kai burst into his room, slipped on layers of jackets, snatched a backpack and an extra coat, and rushed to the kitchen to fill a thermos with hot water. He thrust everything in the pack, threw a scarf around his neck, and opened the door. "I'm gonna go find him." And he was gone.  
        "Wait—" Xiumin didn't get to finish.  
        "We'll go with him," Chanyeol said. He grabbed Baekhyun by the arm and hastened after Kai.  
        Xiumin looked at Chen. "I guess we'd better band together, huh?"  
        "Aw, yes!" Chen grinned. "Search Party XiuChen is ready for action!"  
        Xiumin groaned. "Don't put it that way, or you're on your own."  
  
The little brunette man walked on.  
        It was darker. The little blinking lights up high had mostly disappeared, but there was one patch of brightness that still remained because of the moon. It was a nice moon—full, white, undimmed—despite the thick clouds passing by.  
        A song still played in his head, something of December, he hummed along with it, not remembering the lyrics but knowing the melody.  
        As he listened to his own song paired with the soft  _thud, thud, thud_  of his feet over the pavement, he felt like someone was brushing their cold fingers over his exposed cheeks, it wasn't too pleasant, but the occasional soft, wet sting that fell from above was.  
        Kyungsoo slipped his phone into his pocket. Would they be able to find him? Maybe.  
         _Jongin will_.  
  
 _Soo likes the river, the Han River. He likes taking walks along the river._  
        Kai's feet pounded against the sidewalk, tremors traveling up and down his body. A ways behind him, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were struggling to keep up, Kai could hear them yelling.  
        "Kai, slow down!" Baekhyun was wailing. "I can't—" He puffed hard.  
        Chanyeol, on the other hand, was a bit more helpful. "Kyungsoo!" he shouted. "Kyungsoo! D.O.-yah!  _SQUISHY!_ " Well, just a  _bit_. "Squishy! Where are you?"  
        "Kyungsoo!" Kai screamed at the top of his lungs, so loudly his voice cracked. " _KYUNGSOO!_ "  
  
"Kyungsoo!  _KYUNGSOO!_ "  
        He couldn't even see the face of the person screaming, especially not in his drunken state, but it was a voice he knew all too well, so well that the response came automatically. He turned towards the direction of the voice and stumbled a couple of steps. The body hit him like a tidal wave, strong arms encircled his small frame, a sense of lovingness enveloped him.  
        "Soo..." Tender fingers roamed every inch of his face, caressed his cheeks, traced the outline of his heart-shaped lips, padded over his eyelids. The fingers were quivering terribly. "You gave me quite the scare..."  
        Kyungsoo nodded absentmindedly.  
        "You didn't even bring a coat, or gloves, or a scarf."  
        Yet again he bobbed his head.  
        "You're so cold." Kai pulled the extra coat out and slipped it over Kyungsoo's shoulders, unwrapped the scarf from his own neck and threw it around Kyungsoo's. "...lips chapped. Have some water."  
        Kyungsoo watched Kai fumble for a thermos, pour out water that steamed in the air. He dipped his head to catch the brim of the cup when Kai brought it up to him, smacking his lips at the sudden heat.  
        "Come on." Kai wrapped a protective arm around Kyungsoo. "Let's get you home." A pair of lips pressed against his temple, where warmth spread and sent a jolt down his spine.  
        Kyungsoo smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Ren for helping me out and Sab for tolerating me


End file.
